So I Married A Couponer – Chapter 2

Happy Money Saver Photos created for this series by Naoma May Photography

Chapter 2: What do you mean I’m not allowed to go shopping anymore?

Just to let you know I’m stomping my foot down as I type this next sentence. I’m a man. I sweat, work hard, don’t shave my chest, can still throw a wicked curve ball, and I alone control the BBQ.  I’m a man.

However, my wife has snipped me in one aspect of my life.  I no longer enjoy the privilege of going to the store to buy anything. I’ve been banned, shutdown, told no, and given a time out.  What was the great crime responsible for this punishment you may ask? Paying full price for a box of granola bars!

When you’re married to a hard core coupon shopper life changes big time when you bring anything back from the store.  Every item purchased is scanned into the coupon cortex of her brain and out pops the amount of savings I could have saved if I’d brought coupons. I got away with a little bit of overspending at first but paying full price for something – curse you chocolate chip granola bars- went over the line. Couponers absolutely hate paying full price for anything.

At first I tried to resist by sneaking off and getting a small amount of items.  It didn’t take her long to catch on to that so she offered me a compromise. She said I could resume my store shopping if and only if I brought coupons with me.  I balked at first because I’m a man and I don’t need no stinkin’ coupon.  These words said out loud only brought on a very scary contorted look that I didn’t think the muscles in my sweet wife’s face could even make.

After a while I called her bluff and told her I was going down to the store. She gave me this weird smile, and then handed me some coupons she had for the two items I was going to buy. As I drove down to the store I was so happy, I felt like sticking my head out the window like our family dog. I had my big boy pants on again.

I placed my two items on the most deserted check-out line and handed the checker the coupons my wife had given me.  She looked at them and said with a mouth half-full of gum that I couldn’t use them.  When I told her I could cause my wife gave them to me she did not look impressed. It didn’t impress anybody in the line behind me that seemed to mysteriously form when I wasn’t looking either. Faced with the crushing pressure of not wanting to hold up the line to save 25 cents I tucked my tail, paid full price and left.

When I got home I confronted my wife about her mistake. She said there was no mistake – I tried to use the coupon on the wrong product size.  Oh the humanity!!! I had failed to read the fine print on the coupon.  I think deep down my wife knew that this coupon shopping trip would scar me and it did. She was now the undisputed family shopper and I was laid out on the canvas.

Even though I may not be allowed to shop at the store anymore, I’m still a blue blooded American man. It took me a while but I realized I don’t have to be ashamed anymore.  Besides my wife has saved me enough money from couponing I might just have the largest flat screen on the block  HA!

Read Chapter #3: Coupon Puppet or Hero

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So I Married a Couponer is a fun series about an average man trying to deal with being married to an extreme coupon shopper. His story must be told.

A big thanks to Naoma May Photography for taking such amazing photos for this series. Please do not copy or use these images without expressed consent.8 Comments

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Comments

  1. oh goodness to funny!!! A few days before Thanksgiving my husband decided he wanted to the grocery shopping! Mostly because he didnt want to be left at the house again with 5 kids and dosent understand why couponing takes so long… I am so proud though he did it and succesfuly!! He was excited to show me what he had done and used the cell phone during the trips to double check on certain items. When he went to albertsons and was able to get 4 of the large marie calander pies for less than the price of one he was through the moon. How ever after that he has been fine to stay home with the kids while I go to the store:)

  2. Oh this hits home! I love it! My husband is almost ALWAYS content to let me do the shopping. He begs me not to have him make a grocery run. The last time I handed him a list for Yoke’s (very close to our home), he drives to Rosauers (not close to our home) and can’t figure out why the items don’t match the prices I listed. Sigh. :)

  3. Sorry to be so crude, but I laughed so hard reading this I almost peed my pants! My hubby took forever to come around to my craziness with couponing. But now I smile when I hear him tell his friends about the stuff I bought and how much money I have saved! And boy howdy I feel the same when he buys something full price when I know it’s on sale somewhere else and I have a coupon for it! :) thanks for sharing this. Put a very big smile on my face

  4. Well its a good thing we always get tons of Carefree liners with couponing!! LOL!! Yeah, my hubby brags too sometimes, its so cute when they do that isnt it?? Thanks for the compliment, so glad you like this series so far.

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